Both parties usually have their own legal counsel in contested divorce and family law litigation. A lawyer representing a party in litigation must advocate for their client zealously.

Some parties in divorce and family law end up having the wrong mindset. Instead of recognizing that the opposing counsel must represent their spouse, ex-spouse, or the other opposing attorney, they fall into the mentality of hoping that opposing counsel will see it their way.

How Can This Take Place?

Trying to convince opposing counsel of their perspective can occur in various ways. It might happen in a deposition where opposing counsel is deposing them. Instead of simply answering the questions posed to them, many can fall into the trap of volunteering too much in the hopes that they can convince opposing counsel. Falling into this mindset can often happen where opposing counsel takes on a good-cop mentality in a deposition.

Trying to convince opposing counsel can also occur in discovery responses, including interrogatories and requests for production. For example, instead of simply responding to the discovery issued to them in a literal sense, they can be tempted to provide additional information not asked of them. Such additional information is provided with the hopes that opposing counsel will see it their way.

Hoping opposing counsel will see it their way can also occur in settlement negotiations. As opposed to providing a settlement offer containing the key terms and information needed to assess the offer, many can be tempted to go further than that by providing additional information. By doing this, the hope is often that they can convince opposing counsel they are correct so the case can settle.

Of course, following into the trap of trying to convince opposing counsel can happen in many other ways. It is a natural human tendency for many to want to persuade others involved in the case that they are a good person, did nothing wrong, moral, and that what has been said about them is not valid.

What is The Correct Mindset for a Litigant?

Litigants in divorce and family law matters have to recognize that opposing counsel is a paid advocate for their adversary in litigation. Even if opposing counsel can see it to a certain extent, they still must advocate for their client zealously. For this reason, opposing counsel will never be their friend.

Ultimately, litigants in divorce and family law matters should not worry about what opposing counsel thinks of them. They should also recognize that it is almost impossible to convince opposing counsel. Further, even if they did to a limited extent, it probably would not matter because the lawyer still has to advocate for their client.

Individuals should worry about what the judge or guardian ad litem thinks of them. Of course, having a good relationship with one’s attorney is also essential. But what opposing counsel thinks should be of almost no concern.