Instead of going into a mediation like it’s “déjà vu,” try to think about it as “vuja de.” In other words, it won’t be the same as it has been before.

It was dark as I took my early morning walk with my dog, Red, while listening to a TED Talk. As I entered Piedmont Park, it occurred to me how beautiful the sky becomes at the moment between darkness and sunrise. Then there is a sudden change, the beautiful pinks go away and the bright blue sky appears just as the sun rises. The morning’s own “ah ha” moment. I had my own “ah ha” moment as I was watching the day begin. The speaker I was listening to was Adam Grant, and he talked about some of the surprising habits of original thinkers and the concept of “déjà vu” and “vuja de,” looking at things differently than it has been before. He also talked about the importance of failure. As I listened to him share his thoughts, it resonated with me how powerful his message could be in the context of two sides trying to come up with a resolution in a process we call mediation. When I serve as a mediator, I so often see lawyers approaching the process as if it is déjà vu. I think a fair definition of this would be the “experience of thinking that a new situation had occurred before.” In other words, we go in putting offers and counteroffers on the table in hopes that a neutral like myself might bring the parties to consensus with questions and ideas that might disclose the strength and vulnerabilities of both positions.

Originally published in Georgia Bar Journal on June 1, 2017.