On average, a person engages in 145-200 interactions daily, both in-person and online. However, only 10-20% of these interactions are truly memorable. Among all these interactions, approximately 5-10% are negative, while 7-20% are positive. This means that despite the sheer volume of daily exchanges, only a small fraction will leave a lasting impact.
When you look at all of that data, and what each individual rates as important in their own lives, consider for a moment where their attention on YOU as a lawyer or your firm as a brand may rank.
Right.
In today’s fast-paced digital world, where interactions are increasingly virtual, the importance of kindness in business cannot be overstated. While it’s essential to be a strong advocate for your clients and your brand, it’s equally crucial to remember that success and kindness are not mutually exclusive.
KINDNESS?
For you hard-nosed litigators and hard-driving contract negotiators out there, I can already hear you protesting – kindness?? Yes, kindness. We have to get specific here. It’s been the theme of this week already, as I’ve seen it EVERYWHERE, so I want to clarify a couple of things. To me, kind is NOT nice. As Al Capone famously said, “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” But as Shannon Watts, the co-founder of Everytown for Gun Safety posted this week, the etymology for the word “nice” is:
late 13th century ‘foolish, ignorant, frivolous, senseless…careless clumsy; weak; poor, needy; simple, stupid, silly…ignorant, unaware.
From Forbes:
Being nice means being polite, pleasant and agreeable in a given social situation. It arises from expectations around how we should act with regard to others and is considered a form of social conditioning.
However, when we are being nice, we are not necessarily being genuine; we might be motivated by fear of rejection or some other less desirable outcome.
Being kind, on the other hand, is based on genuinely caring about others and doing things for them with the intention of a good or positive outcome for them, not yourself. Acts of kindness may or may not personally benefit the person being kind; they tend to be selfless and come from a place of compassion, empathy and generosity.
Svetlana Whitener, Why You Should Learn To Differentiate Between Nice And Kind
Kindness has dirt on her face and grit under her fingernails. She shows up, even when it’s hard. She speaks up, even when her voice shakes. She is an advocate, a truth-seeker, and a truth-teller. She doesn’t have to raise her voice to make her argument, but she does make it. She lifts as she rises. She is empowered and empowering.
Isn’t that the type of “kindness” you can get behind?
The Power of Digital Ethics and Social Media Conduct
Let’s look at how this impacts your “brand” – we, as individuals, can sometimes forget that the face that we present to the world is, in fact, our brand. It sounds like this big fancy thing that we need to cultivate and create (and it CAN be), but whatever you are putting out there for everyone else represents who you are – whether it’s cultivated or not.
With the rise of social media, the line between personal and professional conduct has blurred. What you say online can have lasting impacts, not just on your personal reputation but also on your professional image. In recent years, we’ve seen numerous instances where brands or individuals faced backlash due to careless or offensive social media posts. These incidents serve as a reminder of the importance of digital etiquette. I know of several people lately who have acted foolish in the DMs of some well-known people, only to have been put on blast, along with where they work. What you say in private ISN’T private.
I hope that lawyers all know better (ahem) and perhaps this is something you only need to be reminding your clients about, but unless it’s something that you want read aloud in a deposition someday, don’t say it online. Anywhere. In a DM, Snapchat, WhatApp, wherever. Screenshots live FOREVER, folks.
When engaging online, whether through your personal accounts or your company’s platforms, always consider the permanence of what you share. A thoughtless comment or post can quickly go viral, leading to long-term consequences. Before posting, ask yourself:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
If the answer to any of these is no, it’s best to refrain. Kindness online isn’t just about avoiding negativity; it’s about fostering a positive digital presence that reflects well on your brand and yourself.
Being online can often make us believe that we need to repost that thing RIGHT NOW because it feels so immediate that we need to join in on the joke (FOMO is REAL y’all). But I promise that taking a pause and a breath – particularly if you’re in the US during this election season – is going to be important. Consider your sources, consider what you want to be known for, and consider the impact – not just your intention, when sharing.
Positive Branding: A Key to Long-Term Success
In a crowded marketplace, brands (and that can mean you as an individual!) that focus on their strengths and communicate a positive message stand out. Today’s clients are increasingly drawn to brands that align with their values and demonstrate a commitment to doing good.
Remember the stats we shared above – you are 10-20% of your potential clients’ day. What do they care about? What is the cool or amazing thing that you do that sets you apart?
Consider Patagonia, a company that has built its brand on environmental sustainability. By focusing on ethical practices and high-quality products, Patagonia has earned customer loyalty without the need to tear down competitors. This is a powerful example of how positive branding can lead to success. Rather than engaging in brand feuds or negative comparisons, successful brands like Patagonia let their actions and values speak for themselves.
And listen, I’m sure many of you are thinking that Patagonia has it easy, because many people are going to be excited to see one of their packages show up at their door, but they WON’T be as excited to see a lawyer show up at their door. First, you don’t know that – maybe you are saving the day for them. If they’re in a real legal quandary, and you can help them out, the relief that you offer can be worth more than a Patagonia package. How can you bottle THAT up and share it with people? Second, ask yourself, what is MY superpower? If it doesn’t immediately come to mind, ask some of your clients. Why do they pick you over the other lawyers they could hire? There will be an answer that comes up again and again, and THAT is your superpower.
Inclusivity and Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR)
Kindness in business also extends to inclusivity and corporate social responsibility. In today’s socially conscious environment, companies are expected to contribute positively to society. This includes being fair and inclusive in their practices, supporting social justice initiatives, and ensuring that their operations do not harm the environment.
Brands that embrace these values not only build trust with consumers but also differentiate themselves in a meaningful way. Ben & Jerry’s, for example, has long been a leader in integrating social justice into their brand identity. Their commitment to various causes, such as racial justice and climate change, resonates with their audience and reinforces their brand’s reputation as one that cares about more than just profits.
How are you the Ben & Jerry’s in legal? Is there a way that you can share that with people? I know of so many law firms that are doing GREAT work in DEI and CSR and they are just not sharing it enough – I know it seems counterintuitive because it’s not your legal work. But Ben & Jerry’s isn’t sharing their ice cream – they’re sharing their social justice work AND they’ve managed to incorporate it into their ice cream. Their ice cream is already so good that they can JUST share about their social justice work and people will buy their ice cream. Why not lean on YOUR DEI or CSR work, and lead with the premise that your legal work is already so good that you don’t need to tell anyone? “Hey, our legal work is SO good, but this is what we ALSO do?” Get creative.
Stepping outside your comfort zone often signals that you’re on the right path. For lawyers, embracing creativity—especially in how you present your brand and engage with clients—can lead to innovative solutions and stronger client relationships. Don’t be afraid to lead with kindness and creativity.
Conclusion
In today’s legal landscape, where interactions are plentiful but few are memorable, kindness emerges as a powerful differentiator. It’s not about being nice for the sake of social expectations—it’s about fostering genuine connections, maintaining integrity, and creating an inclusive environment that benefits everyone involved.
Whether it’s through careful social media conduct, positive branding, or cultivating strong, empathetic relationships in a remote work setting, kindness is a critical tool for long-term success. It builds trust, enhances your reputation, and distinguishes your brand in a crowded marketplace.
Remember, the legal profession isn’t just about winning cases or negotiating contracts; it’s about serving people. When you focus on what you do best and treat others with respect, your excellence will naturally shine through, earning the loyalty and trust of those you serve.
By embracing kindness as a core principle in your practice, you not only elevate your brand but also contribute to a more positive and ethical legal community. This is how you ensure that your interactions—whether few or many—leave a lasting and positive impression.
