Returning to work after maternity leave at the start of a global pandemic, = new fear unlocked. Said completely unprecedented pandemic, plus a 3-month-old, a 5-year-old who would now also become my part-time co-worker & student, a husband who works in IT at our local hospital, and me returning to work as a full-time Partner at a multi-jurisdictional law firm felt like “Jumanji” type challenges during the first months of the pandemic. But I had a few things on my side.
- I was accustomed to working from home, having worked fully remotely since January 2013 – Great!
- We already had a Nanny share set up with one of my son’s prior caregivers and her new sweet baby boy – awesome!
- My law firm was already in the process of providing its’ Partners with Executive Coaching prior to my maternity leave, and I got started with my new Coach in March 2020 – Invaluable!
With the above-listed things going my way, we survived those incredibly tough months at the start of the pandemic. Today, I am as busy as ever doing the work that I love as a Senior Partner and the Director of Training and Development at Stotler Hayes Group. My husband is also now the IT Director at his job. Our now 4-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son keep us constantly on the move with school, homework, sports, medical appointments, feelings, birthday parties, and play dates abound. Post-pandemic, especially when compared to those early months, our life (thankfully) looks a lot different. But, as we all know, even without a pandemic it can be challenging to maintain harmony between work and family life. I adopted a few practices that helped me juggle work and life during the pandemic that I continue to follow now that it is in the rearview mirror.
Prioritize! (& I don’t mean the “right” Answer)
It’s difficult to create harmony between work life and family life if you don’t earnestly identify your priorities overall and project-by-project. Be honest with yourself, and remember that there is no “right” answer when you are trying to figure out what is most important to you. Maybe you feel that a work project or case is your most important priority or that assisting a parent/relative with managing healthcare must take a front seat. By identifying what is most important to you in your stage in life, you will be able to make the necessary decisions about what can come first and/or what must wait. This is your compass. An ongoing re-evaluation of your priorities is needed to keep your ship sailing on the path you desire.
Outsource
There are a limited number of hours in each day, and you only have two hands and one brain. As such, there is a limit on how much you can individually accomplish each day. You can increase your capacity without growing arms by securing help. During the pandemic, things like grocery and meal delivery services were my saving graces. I continue to utilize these resources whenever possible to have someone else help me tackle life’s projects. This type of outsourcing allows you to copy + paste your way into getting more done and off your to-do list. A few things to keep in mind when outsourcing…
- Consider your relationship with control. If you find it difficult to outsource, consider whether this is because you want complete control over the process and/or the outcome. Remember that when outsourcing, you may not get the exact result you envisioned. You may have to work on your ability to accept help, give up the reigns, and identify if there are certain projects in your life that are better for outsourcing than others.
- Talk about what you need with your village. You may not know where to start, but by being vulnerable and sharing your dilemmas or struggles, you will find others experiencing the same challenges. These people can lead you to resources and support systems that can help you more easily tackle projects.
- Help can be free or for barter. You can utilize paid resources, but you can also get help in other ways - so be creative. Consider a meal exchange with a close friend where you both cook and exchange meals on a set schedule. This can save you some meal planning and cooking time and also add some much-needed variety to your life. If you have a conflict with a work meeting, consider if you have a suitable cover buddy who can step in for you or fill you in on the details later. The people around you are likely happy to help you and just waiting for you to ask.
- Put the people that live with you to work! My roommates are amazing. I find that many of the things around the house that drive me crazy are things that my kids can and will happily (most of the time) do if asked. This also gives them the skills that they will need to eventually take care of themselves.
Set Boundaries & Communicate Openly
Having harmony between work and life is an elegant tango that requires some cross-over and overlap at times, but also requires distance and boundaries to make the dance work. Many times, we easily recognize when work is invading our personal life. But we also have to be mindful of times when our personal life is aggressively encroaching upon our workspace. Setting boundaries and communicating openly with those around you regarding your capacity, availability, and plans are crucial.
- Work is a Priority. There are times when work or a project at work is a priority for me. I always communicate this to those around me so that they understand why I may be working a bit more, and so they can provide extra support if needed.
- Vacation Planning and Communication. I hope that you set up an out-of-office notification when you head out for vacation. This effective tool lets people know that you are out-of-office and it usually has the desired effect of cutting down or eliminating the number of emails requiring a response that you receive while you are away. Also, consider setting up an upcoming out-of-office notification leading into your vacation time alerting recipients of your upcoming time off. I do this by adding a highlighted and bolded line to my email signature about one week in advance of my time off indicating that I will “be Out of the Office from X date to Y date. If you require assistance or need to meet in advance of my time off, please feel free to reach out.” This upcoming out-of-office notification is so helpful in prompting recipients to reach out to me prior to my time away. I also find that I receive a minimal number of emails, if any, that require a response during my time off.
- One Calendar, One Voice. I place important work events on our family calendar and important family events on my work calendar. This ensures that I do not forget about an important doctor’s appointment and schedule a work meeting or forget about an important work meeting and schedule a doctor’s appointment. This also allows my work colleagues to see when I am unavailable or out of the office minimizing interference with my time away.
- Create your List of Hard No’s. I do not work during bathtime. I always want to attend in-person Firm Meetings. There is an annual Conference or CLE that I want to attend in person every year. Remember, boundaries go both ways!
- Rinse & Repeat. When something works and feels good stick with it!
When I get overwhelmed with juggling work and life, I tend to think, “It could be worse.” I worked through a pandemic under way harder circumstances, and I can do this.” And I can, but especially if I am deliberate about employing the practices and tools that I adopted during those unprecedented times.
