A collaborative divorce is a great option for those who wish to amicably settle their divorce outside of court. This is particularly true where both parties want to settle, but there is not an agreement on all issues.

In some situations, one party, however, wants a collaborative divorce, while the other party does not. This does not necessarily mean that the other party wants a litigated divorce.  But, sometimes, they have other ideas in mind.

They might want to hire an attorney who litigates, but who is willing to exchange settlement offers and negotiate. They might want to go to mediation. Or, they might want to engage in talks directly with the other party. While these are not always bad options, collaborative divorce can be a better one for some parties.

The question that many ask in this situation is this: “How do I get my spouse to do a collaborative divorce if they don’t want to do it?”  Another question some might ask is: “How do I inform my spouse of what collaborative divorce is and how it works?”

Below are some suggestions:

1.) It can make sense to point the spouse to the webpage of a local collaborative practice group or the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Oftentimes, the other spouse simply does not even understand much about the collaborative process or how it works compared to other options.

2.) It can often make sense to see if the other spouse will talk about this with a counselor or a divorce coach. In this kind of setting, a party might be willing to consider a collaborative divorce once one explains how this process can promote co-parenting and healing.

3.) There are lots of great books on collaborative divorce that you could purchase and provide to your spouse. This information might help guide the other spouse to consider it.

4.) If you know of others who have gone through a collaborative divorce, you might ask if they will talk to your spouse about the positive attributes. In some cases, the explanation of others can be persuasive.

If none of these options do not work, all is not lost. It still might be possible to reach a collaborative resolution outside of court.  But some of these approaches might assist.