Government-released US jobs report out today.  General consensus is that no matter the numbers on job creation, the slow-to-rise wages and below-target inflation will make any Fed liftoff really gradual – WSJ and Bloomberg

JPMorgan’s accused of digging itself a bit of a hole in its treatment of a former broker who played whistleblower of sorts in 2013 by complaining in 2013 that JPM was pressuring its brokers to sell the bank’s own mutual funds even when those of competitors were more suitable to client needs – NYTimes

Avon is reportedly close to selling a chunk of its business to PE firm Cerberus Capital Management—even as “an activist investor is readying its own campaign to turn around the struggling 130-year-old beauty-products seller” – WSJ

Uber’s latest round of investments (raking in $2.1 billion) has helped it achieve an eye-popping new valuation of $62.5 billion – NYTimes

Its main competition—Lyft—is thinking globally in order to try to keep up – NYTimes

Markets were NOT happy with the latest ECB stimulus move which, though continuing QE, didn’t do so in a volume that many would like to have seen – WSJ

The promised push by the Feds into the spoofing realm has seen some post-Chicago-trial realization, with the SEC this week accusing three more Chicago-based  options traders of manipulative schemes – NYTimes and Bloomberg and Law360

So they’d be what, “Just a little worked up” Tests, instead? – Bloomberg

How about happy little tree resurgence to take us into the weekend [which, for some reason, includes hot tub-side painting] – NYTimes

Also this weekend? The Netflix-venued, “unexpectedly tender” throwback holiday special from Bill Murray, which drops tonight – NPR

Finally, the masses [Twitter, mostly] are crying [non-]foul, but whoa man, what a throw and comeback for the Pack – Deadspin