Divorce can be one of the most stressful and heartbreaking periods of your life. While you are trying to work through the emotional aspects of a divorce, there are numerous logistical issues that need to be addressed, such as selling the marital home, deciding on a parenting time schedule, gathering discovery, and attending court events.  The process can be confusing and overwhelming. With all of the work that goes into a divorce, the emotional toll often gets swept aside. However, it is essential that you prioritize your physical and mental well-being during this time. By prioritizing your physical and mental well-being during the divorce, you are setting yourself up for a happy and healthy next chapter.

Physical Health:

Take care of your physical health. Make sure you eat healthy, sleep, drink water, and exercise. If you had a healthy routine prior to the separation, be disciplined in maintaining that routine. If you did not but aspired to, take advantage of this transitional period to bring change to your routine. It is also important to be cognizant of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as increased alcohol use. 

Mental Health:

Do not be afraid to talk to a professional and/or ask for help if you need it. Know that your attorney is not a mental health professional but may be able to provide you with recommendations and resources if you are struggling. There are many, who are involved in parenting time disputes that fear seeking help may indicate they have a mental health issue that will impact their parenting time. However, most stigmas surrounding mental health treatment have subsided, and self-awareness and self-care are encouraged – not penalized.  

Self-Care Practices:

During this time, focus on reflection and showing yourself some grace. Self-care practices may include meditation and mindfulness, journaling, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion.

Community Support:

It is easy to self-isolate during a challenging time.  However, now is the time to lean on family and friends who support you and bring positivity to your life.  There are also numerous support groups for divorcing/divorced individuals. You may also want to find a new community – join a sports club or discover local meetups to bring new people and activities into your life.

Resources:

Remember, you are not alone, and many out there have been through this process. There are numerous resources of all different lengths and mediums that you can squeeze in during your downtime or commute to work. Below are some recommendations for navigating divorce and self-care:

Books:

• “Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends” by Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti
• “Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Ever After” by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Podcasts:

• “Divorce Sucks!” hosted by Laura Wasser
• “The Overwhelmed Brain” hosted by Paul Colaianni

TED Talks:

• “How to Fix a Broken Heart” by Guy Winch
• “The Power of Vulnerability” by Brené Brown
• “Falling in Love is the Easy Part” by Mandy Len Catron
• “Why We Love, Why We Cheat” by Helen Fisher
• “How to Make Stress Your Friend” by Kelly McGonigal
• “The Magic of Not Giving a F***” by Sarah Knight

A special thank you to Kelly Golden, MSN, APN, PMHNP-BC, of Synapse Behavioral Health for providing this resource list. If you are struggling with mental health issues and need a local resource, visit https://synapsebehavioralhealth.com/contact-us/.